I'm Obligated, Nothing More
by Kemiix
Summary: Lon'qu has always told himself that he's ok. However, telling yourself something and being something are two completely different things. When the Feroxi champion falls from grace, his condition deteriorates. Only one person can help him, and he doesn't want anything to do with her. Can Lissa mend his broken spirit? T for suicidal thoughts and language. R&R
1. Chapter 1: Denial

The young myrmidon pulled his clothes on layer by layer. First the padding, then the heavy coat, it was the same routine every day. The padding was nothing special, but the coat was made from real beast fur, and insulated him very well. He also wore leather arm pads, not for warmth, but for a small weight advantage in battle. Next he pulled on his thick pants and lastly heavy winter boots, which were mainly for protection against the harsh, chilling conditions outside.

He already knew the answer; it was still the same as the time he thought it before. It seemed like every day this question dwelled in his mind, unshakable. He knew the reason why.

"**What makes a person brave?"** Lon'qu was deep in thought as he descended for Arena Ferox. Snow was drifting gently, and was sticking to the crunchy, frozen ground fairly well. Regna Ferox, his current home, was cold most of the year and it was hard to recall a day without snow.

Basilio, the leader of West-Khan and at the time current leader of Regna Ferox, was waiting for Lon'qu outside his quarters.

"Lon'qu!" Basilio smiled eagerly, "I hope you are rested, champion, a challenger has arrived today."

"Another?" Lon'qu said curtly. "Why should I even waste my time?"

Basilio laughed, and Lon'qu gave him a quick glare. "I don't know Lon'qu, this one seems different. He goes by the name Marth and is skilled with a sword."

"You seem to forget that I'm skilled with a sword."

Basilio suddenly became grave, "Don't underestimate him."

"We'll see how he stands against my killing edge", Lon'qu said with a small smirk. He had no reason to doubt his abilities, as every challenger thus far had fallen to him and his blade. However, as Basilio was usually not serious, his warning resonated with Lon'qu, and he clutched his sword a little tighter as he entered the arena.

Arena Ferox was the mighty ring in which the annual Ferox tournament was held. The Ferox tournament was where East-Khan ruler Flavia and West-Khan ruler Basilio put their champions against each other in battle. The winner gained controlled of all of Regna Ferox, so to both sides the matter was immensely important. Thanks to Lon'qu, Basilio had ruled over Regna Ferox for quite some time, so neither of them had any reason to doubt this year would go any differently.

Arena Ferox was a true sight to behold. A large circular arena with embellished stone slate floors and stone walls that seemed larger than life, there plenty of room for armies to clash. No windows, and only one door; the only light was by enormous torches evenly placed to illuminate every corner of the ring.

"**Oh." **Lon'qu saw Marth from across the arena, standing in a guarding position, with his blade almost horizontal with his body. He examined the challenger from bottom to top, finding more than a few things unusual about him. He definitely resembled the ancient king Marth, with short trimmed cerulean hair and authentic armor. **"Where did he even get those clothes?" **They resembled the armor of legend nearly perfect. For a warrior, he was awfully stringy, **"he has almost a girly figure, no muscle at all."** Also, his sword was out of place; never in his life had Lon'qu seen a blade like his. There was also his odd mask, **"he must lack confidence"**, Lon'qu thought,** "This will be quick."**

The prediction was correct, but not in Lon'qu's favor. The battle was quick; it was over within seconds once their swords started clashing.

Lon'qu countered the inexperience fighter with ease, "You're no warrior, just a kid playing dress up." He knocked Marth to the ground, and that's when it happened.

Marth's entire demeanor changed, and 'he' untucked 'his' long, beautiful locks of hair from under the thick tunic 'he' bore. Marth shouted in momentary fear, "Uncle, please!" The voice was high pitched and gentle "I cannot fall here!"

Lon'qu froze, his blade stopping mid-strike above Marth's torso. He suddenly felt flustered and began to shake, "A woman?!" Marth was swift in her action, disarming Lon'qu by snatching his killing edge from his paralyzed fingers. She used the hilt of her sword and with a hard CRACK to the head, Lon'qu was down. With a face full of cold marble, the last thing Lon'qu remembered seeing was the auburn sun symbol inscribed in the floor. As his eyes forced closed he heard Marth distantly, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

-.-.-.-.-

Basilio was the first thing he saw when he awoke a few hours later. "Lon'qu, are you alright? That's pretty nasty bump."

Lon'qu groaned. He sat up slowly and looked around, "where am I? What happened to me?" The room had bland white walls and a freshly polished marble floor. There was a window across from the bed he found himself in, draped with thick beige velvet curtains. His bed sheets were also beige, and while they were not velvet, they were comfortable. The room had nothing outstanding to draw the eyes to; it was all neutral tones and gave a soothing sensation.

Basilio looked at him with pity in his eyes. "You're in a treatment room waiting on a healer." Basilio, who lurking in the doorway, entered the small room and stood at the bed side.

"Do you remember anything?"

Lon'qu tried to think, but all he got was a sharp, piercing pain. "No…" He felt sluggish; everything in his body seemed too heavy to move.

"I see", Basilio moved to the room's small window and opened the curtain. A thick blanket of snow covered the ground outside, and it hurt Lon'qu's eyes too much to look. "I'm sure you will remember once we've got you patched up. Usually things aren't this slow, however, the boarder is under attack and all our healers are on sight at the moment."

"The boarder? But who?" Lon'qu asked, nearly slurring his words.

"We are unsure at the moment, the knight on duty, Raimi, hasn't sent clear word on their identity. I'm not worried, this will end one of two ways, either we will find out or they will die before they get here." Basilio chuckled a bit, "Raimi has always taken things a bit too rashly."

"Hmph", Lon'qu sighed, "I should be out there fighting-". Lon'qu blinked out again.

Basilio got up to see if he could scavenge a vulnerary for his comrade. "You can keep pretending Lon'qu", he said as he closed the door, "but you are far from being fine."

-.-.-.-.-

It had been a long time since he last saw her. She was a phantom of the night, one that only haunted his dreams. She caused great agony whenever he saw her, but it was not her fault.

"Ke'ri…" Lon'qu mumbled as he thrashed, unconscious. "Ke'ri… Ke'ri! NO!" He was screaming now, but it wasn't long until his screams turned to thick heavy sobs.

Lon'qu's eyes burst open, and he found his headache relieved. Everything around him was still, not a sound could be heard except for the gentle splats of snow hitting the window to which Basilio left the curtains open. He was still breathing heavy, and his face was wet from tears.

"I cannot take this", he cried aloud, "I cannot carry this burden anymore". His tears stopped, but a few sobs still escaped his throat. "I want… I want to die". He paused taking a deep breath, "I'm not brave", he whispered. "Is that what you want to hear?"

Silence. Lon'qu laid completely still, staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night.

-.-.-.-.-

Basilio stood outside the door. He heard Lon'qu screaming and came dashing to his aide, but when he heard "Ke'ri", he knew exactly what was going on. It was that same reoccurring nightmare that Lon'qu had been suffering from ever since he found him. It had been at least a month now since it last happened; he assumed he'd finally conquered it. "I guess I was wrong", Basilio sighed.

Lon'qu tried very hard to hide his gynophobia, however, Basilio caught on very quickly. When paired with Raimi in battle once, Lon'qu became flustered and nearly incoherent. Basilio was confused, so he kept a close eye on him. When approached by Feroxi maidens, he noticed Lon'qu would often become aggressive or flustered, ordering them to stay away. Not only did Lon'qu seem afraid of women, he seemed to hate them. While it could've been possible that Lon'qu was a homosexual, Basilio dismissed it, thinking **"he's never hit on me, and I'm pretty hot, so that can't be it."**

The illness was not a very serious issue or at least not a hindrance to Lon'qu's health until now. Basilio was now deeply afraid for Lon'qu's well-being, especially after hearing his wish for death. He paced the gray stone corridor, pondering what to do. There was no pretending things were fine anymore. There was no more writing it off as something that was going to fix on its own.

"Hey, oaf, it's the middle of the night. What are you doing sneaking the halls like an intruder? I could have mistaken you for one!"

"Flavia?" Basilio recognized her even in the darkness. "Why are you awake?"

"I'm pretty sure I asked you first", Flavia replied sharply. Once she confirmed it was Basilio and not an intruder, her sword, which was drawn, was returned to its sheath. She seemed to relax.

Basilio sighed deeply. Flavia was like his sister, if there was anyone he could talk to it was her. "I have a few things on my mind. Things that can't wait until morning."

"Oh? Why so serious? That's not like you." Flavia teased, "If you're worried about the tournament tomorrow, don't be. Second place isn't so bad."

"No, that's not it. I have a real problem, Flavia, one bigger than the tournament", Basilio said coldly.

"Huh?" Flavia was caught off guard. Basilio is rarely in any real distress, and she began to panic. "What's going on? Are we under attack—are you dying?!"

"No, that's not it either, it's about Lon'qu", Basilio replied. "He's in very deep, and I'm not sure how to help him."

"The champion from Chon'sin, what ails him?"

Basilio explained everything, from the nightmares and gynophobia to the death wish. Flavia listened, and gears seemed to be turning in her head. "I have an idea, but for it to work you have to trust me."

"What is it?" Basilio asked eagerly.

"You're not going to like it… but it could be the only way to help him."

_**First fic in 3 years! I hope it's better than my old ones, haha.**_

_**[After I read this in the morning I realized how rough it was, so I did some heavy editing]**_

_**I love reviews, so if you liked/didn't like it, please let me know! :)**_


	2. Chapter 2: New Beginnings

The dawn crept over the horizon, cracks of sunlight shooting out behind the snowy scenery. Lon'qu, still wide awake, broke his concentration on the ceiling and admired the sunrise.

He knew today was the most important day of the year, and he knew also that Basilio would not have him fight. A twinge of pain rose from his head as he tried to remember what happened the day before. The last thing he could recall was Basilio warning him about the enemy and walking into the arena, but beyond that it was a blank.

"**I was defeated, I had to have been defeated"**, he thought, a little frustrated. **"But by who?"**

He couldn't remember a single detail about the enemy, or even the fight, which only fueled his anger. He gave up trying, and resumed staring at the ceiling.

-.-.-.-.-

It was midday before Basilio came to visit. Lon'qu had escaped from his bed, despite what his healer had told him, and was practicing his combat techniques.

"Ah, Basilio", he greeted, "Are you well?"

"Why are you out of bed- never mind" Basilio sighed. "I'm sure you're eager to hear the results of the tournament."

"Yes", Lon'qu replied curtly, "although with your new champion it was probably a success."

"Well, you're wrong", Basilio said, surprising the myrmidon.

"How is that possible", Lon'qu exclaimed. "Your champion defeated me, and I have always broken through Flavia's ranks!"

"It was different this time. Flavia enlisted the help of the Ylissean royalty, and they brought her a small army."

"No, I refuse to work under Flavia." Lon'qu sat down on the bed.

"And why is that? She won fairly, and it was a clever move." Basilio gave him a disappointed glance. "You sound like a child who doesn't want to do housework."

"Hmph. I don't have to explain my reasons", Lon'qu replied dismissively.

"I didn't expect you to, and neither did Flavia, which is why", Basilio paused, "you're joining the Ylissean army."

"WHAT." Lon'qu leaped up. He was obviously angry, walking towards Basilio slowly. "I lose one battle and you throw me away! I knew this would happen, you bastard. You never really cared about me; you cared about me securing the kingdom for you. Now that I've failed to do that", Lon'qu was in Basilio face, "You're done with me."

"Lon'qu please, it's nothing like that." Basilio replied, trying to keep a calm face. "Ylisse is in desperate hours against a growing threat, the army of Plegia. They are trying to start an all-out world war, and Ylisse may be the only country that can stop it."

"What does that have to do with me", Lon'qu replied coldly.

"Stop acting so selfish", Basilio yelled, catching Lon'qu off guard. It wasn't often when Basilio yelled at him, which meant he was in hot water.

"I'm sorry", Lon'qu said, looking at the floor. "It is not my place to refuse a cause much bigger than I."

"Honestly, you shouldn't jump to conclusions." Basilio sighed. "It's not like I don't care about you, because we both know damn well that's not true. You are kin to me Lon'qu, I have looked over you these many long years, or have you forgotten?"

"I have not."

"Then you know I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for your own good. Now pack your things and get ready for departure." Basilio patted Lon'qu on the back, "And don't forget to bring lighter attire, you will travel to different climates."

Lon'qu's face burned. He was embarrassed at how he lashed out at Basilio. He scooped his killing edge, and prepared to head for his quarters.

"Basilio", he paused in the doorway. "Thank you for everything. I will never forget."

Basilio watched Lon'qu walk out, and took a deep breath. "We will meet again, I'm sure."

-.-.-.-.-

The Ylissean royalty was nothing like Lon'qu was expecting. When he arrived, they were all still down at the arena celebrating their victory. Flavia and Basilio were both present, and when Basilio spotted Lon'qu he waved him over.

"I will provide Ylisse with the soldiers she needs", Flavia said with a smile. She was talking to a tall, stocky man with choppy blue hair. He seemed to be happy as well, so Lon'qu quickly deduced he was from Ylisse. He had a few people standing alongside him, but it was obvious he was the leader by the way he handled negotiations.

"Truly? Thank you, East-Khan." The blue haired man and Flavia went back and forth for some time, until she declared there would be a celebration. Full of glee, she bolted off, and Basilio approached the Ylissean party.

"Bah! Any excuse for a party and Flavia jumps on it", Basilio rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, have we met?" The blue haired man seemed confused.

"I'm the West-Khan you so rudely removed from power! You're handy with a sword, boy. I thought I'd picked the stronger man."

The two discussed the champion that fell for some time. Lon'qu just stood by idly, wondering if he was truly going to leave with these strangers. Lon'qu snapped back to attention when a young girl interjected into their conversation.

"I mean c'mon… he IS sort of dreamy, isn't he", the young girl fawned over Marth.

"And YOU'RE sort of dreaming", the Ylisse man scolded her.

"Yowch! Lighten up, Big Brother, I was just kidding", she giggled.

"**That's odd"**, Lon'qu thought to himself. **"They are related but they look nothing alike."**

A rather intimidating man in large armor interrupted the sibling's argument. "Milord? Milady? If this fascinating discussion is over, we'd best return home. The exalt will want this news of our alliance immediately."

"**So those two are Ylissean royalty"**, Lon'qu sighed. **"This will definitely be a change from following Basilio."**

"Hold, boy. Before you go, I have a little present for you", Basilio gestured to Lon'qu and he stepped forward.

"….." Lon'qu was silent.

"This is Lon'qu, my former champion. He's not much for talking but he's peerless with a sword. As good as Marth, in my mind. To be honest, I can't figure out how Marth bested him so quickly." Basilio almost seemed bitter when saying that, which caught Lon'qu off guard.

"Marth beat him?" The Ylissean princess piped up, "But he looks so big and strong…"

She approached him, and Lon'qu began to sweat. Panic overtook his body. "Away, woman!" He shouted, startling her.

"Hey! Wh-what did I say?" She was confused, but hadn't backed up an inch. Lon'qu was visibly tense, she, a woman was in his personal space.

Basilio chuckled, "Let's just say that ladies tend to put Lon'qu on edge. Nonetheless, he is capable. Perhaps he even has the makings of a khan. Consider him West Ferox's contribution to the Ylissean cause. "

"You're certain about this?" The prince was skeptical.

Basilio became serious, "Yes, yes. He's your man now."

"And Lon'qu? You have no objections?" The prince was now facing him. The princess was still close to him, but he was too distracted to notice. This was the moment, all eyes were on him.

Lon'qu closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The looked to Basilio, but his face was unreadable. After a long pause, he spoke. "He gives orders. I stab people. I think our roles are clear."

The prince nodded. "…All right, then. Welcome aboard." Lon'qu wasn't sure, but he could've sworn the prince gave him a smile.

_**TONS of dialog in this chapter, but I think it was necessary. The next one is where things will pick up! Also, guest, maybe I can change your mind about LonLis, so I hope you keep reading and thanks for the review! **_

_**I love feedback so please R&R :)**_


End file.
